Don’t forget your hat

FADE IN:
EXT. ILKLEY MOOR, YORKSHIRE – DAY

A young man, PAUL, mid-twenties, good looking but unshaven and slightly dishevelled, treks across Ilkley Moor with a rucksack on his back. Free, loving life, drinking it in.


EXT. DESERTED ROAD ON ILKLEY MOOR – TWILIGHT

PAUL walks along a deserted road crossing lkley Moor.

The weather is not good. The clouds are rolling across the sky. Rain is imminent. And it’s cold, very cold.

PAUL stops at what was a bus shelter but now offers little shelter at all. Holes in the roof. Only one side glassed in.

He looks at it scornfully and walks on.

The wind suddenly gets up making it even colder.

PAUL pulls his coat around him, tightens his scarf and runs back to the decrepid shelter.

He takes a rucksack off his back. Opens it up. Starts to search through it.

Pulls out a flannel shirt. A pair of jeans. A couple of paperback novels.

He gets frustrated as he can’t find what he’s looking for.

Gives a SHOUT of triumph and pulls out a woolen hat complete with ear muffs.

He puts it on his head and pulls it in to shape.

A smile of relief crosses his face. Puts the other clothes back. Starts to SING.

PAUL
Thou’s been a courtin’ Mary Jane

On Ilkley Moor baht ‘at

He sits down on the rickety bench inside the shelter, still singing.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Tha’s been a courtin’ Mary Jane,
Tha’s been a courtin’ Mary Ja–

Seemingly from out of nowhere he is joined by an OLDER MAN.

He is small and nuggety with a weather beaten face.

He nods at PAUL but says nothing.

PAUL nods back.

Sits there in silence. Looks uncomfortable.

Tugs at his hat.

Looks up at the sky. Out at the clouds scudding across the sky. Looks up at the OLDER MAN.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Glad I remembered my hat.

The OLDER MAN joins him on the bench.

SILENCE ensues.

PAUL fidgets. Feels he should say something.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Thought I’d forgotten it.

The OLDER MAN just nods.

Another SILENCE.

PAUL takes the hat off. Inspects it closely.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Had it for years.

The OLDER MAN nods again.

Another SILENCE.

PAUL feels the need to speak. Hugs himself.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Brrrrr. Didn’t know it could get so cold.

The OLDER MAN takes a pack of mints out of his pocket.

Takes one from the pack. Puts it in his mouth.

Puts the pack back in to his pocket.

OLDER MAN
Come up unexpected, did you?

PAUL LAUGHS. He looks sheepish.

PAUL
Yea. Had a row with the girl friend. Did a storm out.

The OLDER MAN gets up, steps outside the shelter.

Looks down the road. There’s nothing there.

PAUL looks at the bus timetable.

It’s faded, difficult to read.

The OLDER MAN walks back in to the shelter.

Sees PAUL looking at the timetable.

Shakes his head.

OLDER MAN
No point looking at that.

PAUL gives him a questioning look.

The OLDER MAN says no more.

PAUL
How far to the next village?

OLDER MAN
Far enough.

The OLDER MAN takes the pack of mints out of his pocket again. Offers it to PAUL.

PAUL takes one. Pops it in to his mouth. Nods his thanks.

PAUL
Thanks.

OLDER MAN
Got somewhere to sleep?

PAUL shakes his head.

PAUL
Hadn’t planned that far ahead.

OLDER MAN.
Welcome to stay at my place.

PAUL is uneasy. Wants to get on with his walking. Find himself somewhere to stay.

PAUL
That’s very kind but I couldn’t impose on you.

OLDER MAN (almost to himself)
Wife’s gone. Years ago.

PAUL looks uncomfortable at the revelation.

PAUL
I’m sorry….

The OLDER MAN waves his words away.

OLDER MAN
Plenty of room. Be glad of the company.

PAUL looks out at the weather.

Doesn’t like what he sees.

Gets up. Looks at the bus timetable again.

PAUL
Bound to be one along soon.

The OLDER MAN says nothing. Gets up and walks away.

PAUL looks embarrassed.

Gets up, calls after the man.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Well, if it’s not too much trouble.

The OLDER MAN turns back.

PAUL jogs after him. Puts his hand out.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Thank you.

The OLDER MAN looks at PAUL’S hand. Eventually shakes it.

He looks down the road again. Still nothing.

Starts to walk off again.

OLDER MAN
It’s not far.

PAUL looks doubtfully at the OLDER MAN walking away. Shivering as he does so.

The OLDER MAN calls over his shoulder.

OLDER MAN (CONT’D)
It won’t be getting any warmer.

PAUL nods his agreement, albeit reluctantly. Stands up, pulls his hat down and joins the OLDER MAN.


EXT. DESERTED ROAD ON ILKLEY MOOR – LATER

The two men walk along the deserted road.

In the distance the RUMBLE of an engine is heard.

PAUL turns and sees a RED SINGLE DECKER BUS approaching them.

He waves frantically for the bus to stop.

The OLDER MAN keeps walking. Doesn’t even look back.

The bus reaches the two men.

PAUL looks relieved.

The bus doesn’t stop.

PAUL can’t believe it.

Chases the bus. Waving his arms. SCREAMING ABUSE.

The OLDER MAN keeps walking. Says nothing.

PAUL turns back to him.

PAUL
He didn’t stop. He saw me waving and he didn’t stop.

OLDER MAN
Never does.

PAUL jumps up and down in sheer frustration, almost hysterical.

PAUL
He saw me and didn’t stop.

The OLDER MAN simply walks on.


EXT. SAME ROAD – LATER.

The two men are still walking along the deserted road.

They reach a narrow path leading off it.

OLDER MAN
Nearly there.

He walks off up the path. PAUL follows.

In the distance stands a solitary cottage.


INT. COTTAGE – MINUTES LATER.

The two men are inside the cottage.

The OLDER MAN locks the front door. There are number of bolts. He locks them all.

Sees PAUL watching him.

OLDER MAN
Can never be too careful.

PAUL takes his hat off.

Takes the rucksack off

Puts the hat on top of his rucksack.

Takes his heavy coat off.

Stands there.

Looks around.

The cottage is sparsely furnished. An old settee. Two old armchairs. A wooden chair with side arms. Threadbare carpets on an old wooden floor. A number of stuffed animals on the mantle pieces. An old fridge. An ancient cooker.

The main feature is a huge fireplace.

Standing next to the fireplace is a stack of logs.

OLDER MAN.
I’ll set a fire.

PAUL rubs his hands.

PAUL
That would be good.

There are a number of doors leading off the main room.

The OLDER MAN indicates one of them.

OLDER MAN
Bath’s in there. Water’s hot.

PAUL
Oh yes, I’d love a bath. Thanks.

PAUL picks up his rucksack and walks towards the bathroom door.

His hat falls off the rucksack on to the floor. He doesn’t notice.

The OLDER MAN starts to attend to the fire.

Starts to WHISTLE the tune of “On Ilkley Moor Baht’at.”

He takes logs from the pile and carefully arranges them in the fireplace.

Places sheets of old newspapers under the logs.

Reaches for a box of matches. Strikes one.

Carefully lights one of the sheets of newspaper.

Blows on the flame.

Waves the flame on to the other sheets of newspaper.

Gets up and stands back.

Admires his creation.

Starts to sing.

OLDER MAN
Where ‘ast th’ been sin I saw thee
On Ilkley Moor Baht’at

Keeps WHISTLING the tune as he stands and walks toward the kitchen.


INT. BATHROOM – SAME TIME.

PAUL looks round the bathroom.

It is as sparse as the main room. A bath with an old- fashioned loofah on the side. A toilet with a wooden seat. A rickety wooden chair.

A cracked, mirrored bathroom cabinet. A wooden towel rail with one, greying threadbare towel hanging on it.

PAUL puts the rucksack on the floor. Takes out his spare clothes. Lays them carefully on the chair.

He turns to lock the door. The lock is broken. Looks as if it has been smashed at some time.

He walks over to the bathroom cabinet. Opens it. It’s empty except for a cut throat razor and shaving cream.

He closes the cabinet.

Starts to undress. He’s still uneasy.


INT. MAIN ROOM – MINUTES LATER.

The OLDER MAN is tending to a large pot on the old cooker.

OLDER MAN.
Tha’s bahn a courtin’ Mary Jane
On Ilkley Moor baht‘at

Smiles to himself. Keeps WHISTLING the tune as he tends to his cooking. Stirs the contents with a heavy wooden spoon.


INT. BATHROOM – SAME TIME.

PAUL is laying in the large, old fashioned bath.

Steam is rising from the hot water.

He is washing himself with the loofah. Much more relaxed.

He faintly hears the OLDER MAN singing. Picks up on the song. Starts singing in a mock
Yorkshire accent.

PAUL
On Ilkley Moor baht‘at,
On Ilkley Moor baht’at…

Keeps HUMMING the tune. Puts his head on the back bath ledge. Closes his eyes. Drifts off, a smile on his face.

The bathroom door starts to open. It creaks eerily. The OLDER MAN is standing there. PAUL is startled. Looks vulnerable.

The OLDER MAN places a soft, white towel on the towel rail.

PAUL breathes a sigh of relief. Nods his head in thanks.


INT. MAIN ROOM OF COTTAGE – LATER.

PAUL walks out of the bathroom.

He is dressed in the flannel shirt and jeans from his knapsack.

His face is red from the heat of the bath.

The OLDER MAN stands at the stove stirring the contents of the large pot.

PAUL walks over to the stove. Sniffs in appreciation.

PAUL
Smells good.

OLDER MAN
Aye.

PAUL
What’s in it?

OLDER MAN
Just something I trapped.

PAUL smiles at the OLDER MAN’S reluctance to tell him what’s in the pot.

PAUL
Can I do anything?

The OLDER MAN indicates a space behind PAUL.

PAUL looks around.

He sees two places set for dinner at the large refectory table.

He walks over and sits down. The OLDER MAN walks across and puts two dishes down.

PAUL leans over his plate and takes a good look at what’s there.

PAUL (CONT’D)
O yum, looks as good as it smells.

PAUL tastes his food. Likes it. With a full mouth, he makes a gesture of approval.

OLDER MAN
What was the row about?

PAUL
Row?

The OLDER MAN just nods.

PAUL remembers he has told him about the row with his girl friend.

PAUL (CONT’D)
Oh you know. Commitment. Where we were going with our lives. That sort of thing.

The OLDER MAN nods his understanding.

OLDER MAN
Did you tell her you were coming up here?

PAUL shakes his head vigorously.

PAUL
No way.

A SILENCE ensues as the two men eat.

PAUL stares off in to the fire.

Tired, made sleepy by the food and warmth, he drifts off in to a world of his own.

OLDER MAN (O.S)
More?

PAUL comes out of his daydream.

The OLDER MAN is standing by his side. Taking his plate which is empty.

PAUL
Sorry?

Indicates the pot on the cooker.

OLDER MAN
Plenty left.

PAUL pats his stomach, blows out his cheeks.

PAUL
No thanks. That was great. Filled me right up.

The OLDER MAN takes the plates back to the cooker.

Puts them down.

Reaches in to a kitchen cupboard.

Takes out a bottle and two glasses.

Brings them back to the table.

OLDER MAN
Special treat.

PAUL looks quizzically at him.

The OLDER MAN pushes the bottle over to him.

PAUL picks up the bottle. Examines it closely.

The label is faded. Impossible to read.

OLDER MAN (cont’d)
Single malt. Very old.

PAUL looks uncomfortable, perhaps a little suspicious.

He puts his hand up to stop the Old Man pouring.

PAUL
No, I won’t thanks.

The Old Man looks upset at his hospitality being turned down.

Turns away from PAUL.

OLDER MAN
I save it for special guests.

PAUL sees that the Old Man is upset, doesn’t want him to be, laughs self consciously.

PAUL
Oh, OK then. But I’m hardly special.

OLDER MAN
Everybody’s special.

The OLDER MAN pours two glasses.

Waits for PAUL to taste his.

PAUL sips at the whisky.

The OLDER MAN admonishes him with a wave of his hand

OLDER MAN (CONT’D)
Not like that. Down in one go.

PAUL nods his agreement and downs the contents of the glass in one go.

He licks his lips. Rolls his tongue around his mouth. He obviously likes it.

PAUL
It certainly is unusual.

The OLDER MAN immediately pours him another.

OLDER MAN.
It’ll help you sleep.

PAUL knocks back the glass in the same way as before.


CUT TO BLACK

PRE-LAP:

The OLDER MAN WHISTLING the tune of “On Ilkley Moor Baht’at” and what sounds like a KNIFE BEING SHARPENED.


INT. KITCHEN – LATER

PAUL wakes up from a deep sleep. He’s groggy.

The OLDER MAN is crouched at the fire – heating something over the flames.

PAUL goes to get up.

Discovers he can’t. He is groggy – literally ‘out on his feet’.

Tries to get up again. There is no way he can stand.

The OLDER MAN stands. He is holding a very large hunting/ boning knife.

OLDER MAN
Amazing how many people come up here without telling anyone where they’re going.

PAUL looks at the OLDER MAN. Looks at the knife. Swallows nervously. Can’t speak.

A tarpaulin has been laid on the floor next to the fireplace. PAUL’S clothes are folded, all neat and tidy, on the floor next to the tarpaulin.

The rest of his possessions laid out, too.

The OLDER MAN runs his finger along the knife’s blade, then sets it down on the tarpaulin.

He picks up PAUL’s hat from its place amongst the folded clothes. Walks with it over to a hat rack on the wall.

On the rack there are already a number of mens’ hats of different styles, shapes and sizes.

There’s a straw hat; a cloth cap; a panama; a stetson; a baseball cap; a beret; a rain hat and more. He adds PAUL’S hat to the collection.

OLDER MAN (CONT’D)
Funny thing is, none of them forget to pack their hat.

He away from the hat rail and walks back to the tarpaulin. Picks up the knife.

Walks towards PAUL. Starts to sing.

OLDER MAN (CONT’D)
Then we shall all ‘av eaten thee
On Ilkley Moor baht ‘at

Keeps WHISTLING the tune.


EXT. THE ROAD LEADING TO THE COTTAGE – SAME TIME.

The single decker red bus passes by the path to the cottage travelling in the opposite direction to when we saw it first.

What could be a SCREAM is heard from the house.


FADE OUT.

OLDER MAN (O.S. FAINT)
That’s how we get us oahn back…